You’re not alone if you’ve ever awoken bewildered — and possibly slightly excited — about why your dreams were full of passionate sex scenes with you as the primary actor. I occasionally have sensual dreams, which I find pretty pleasant and even stimulating.
Sex fantasies are a natural aspect of life. In fact, it’s safe to say that we all have them at some point in our lives – some more than others. It is most likely related to how much and how frequently one thinks about sex, reads about sex, and/or engages in sexual activity. I believe it is a “professional hazard” for me. Dreaming about sexual activity with someone other than your partner is common, and it does not automatically turn you into a cheater or unfaithful person. Monogamy is encouraged in today’s society, but I’m not sure it’s right for everyone. It most emphatically does not work for me.
What can our dreams tell us?
We all want to know what our dreams signify, especially when they leave us bewildered and wondering why a specific subject played out while we were sleeping.
Dream content is frequently related to what is going on in your waking life. So, if your days are packed with tension and anxiety, you may have some disturbing nightmares. However, if things are going well and you are happy, your dreams may take a different turn.
Dreams, according to Dr. Janet Brito, a professional psychologist and AASECT certified sex therapist, are a technique to disclose what is invisible to you. They act as an inner guidance system, provide commentary on how you live your life, and disclose symbolic imagery for you to investigate with curiosity.
According to Brito, the symbols and images in your dreams connect you to your feelings, wishes, or something you’re attempting to settle.
The significance of sex dreams
Deciphering the meaning of sex dreams is not a one-size-fits-all endeavor. While you may be tempted to interpret your sex dream literally, Brito recommends focusing on the symbolic portrayal to catch the essence of the dream.
“When sex appears in your dreams, break it down into a tale with a beginning, middle, and finish, and focus on experiencing the feelings in your dream and being interested about where the energy of the dream leads you, particularly how the dream ends,” Brito says. “This will reveal to you the emotional need that your sex dream is attempting to fulfill in your waking life,” she continues.
That’s why you shouldn’t put too much stock in last night’s dream in which you did things with your boss that you never thought you’d do. Even “taboo” sex fantasies are nothing to be concerned about. You simply need to delve a little further to find out what your subconscious is saying about your waking existence.
Again, it is critical to emphasize that deciphering the meaning of sex dreams is not a one-size-fits-all method. Everyone circumstance has a different meaning for each of us. However, there are some recurring themes in sex dreams. Here are a few scenarios that may occur frequently in your sexy dreams.
1. Having sex with a stranger or an acquaintance
It could imply that your libido is high and you’re not having sexual needs addressed.
What you can do about it:
Don’t put too much stock in this dream. It could simply be your active (or hyperactive) libido. If this is the case, starting with open conversation with your partner is a good place to start. Let them know how you’re feeling and what you’d like to see more of, but keep in mind that they may not feel the same way.
2. Repeated sex fantasies with an ex
Depending on how frequently you have these nightmares and how long you’ve been separated from your ex, they could imply anything from adjusting to a new partner to unresolved grief about an ex.
What you can do about it:
Allow yourself time to acclimate to having sex with a new partner if you’ve recently broken up. However, if it has been several months or even years since your breakup and you are still having recurring sex dreams with the same ex, it may be time to work with a professional to work through some grief issues related to this relationship, or if you are feeling unfulfilled in your current relationship.
3. BDSM-related sex fantasies
Bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism are abbreviations for bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism. “This dream may indicate that you had an overbearing mother or father, and you are familiarly tantalised by the thought of being tied up and overwhelmed by a love object (person),” says Dr. Fran Walfish, a Beverly Hills family and relationship psychologist. Other interpretations include a desire for control or wishing for others to take the initiative.
What you can do about it:
“There is nothing perverted, immoral, or abnormal about this; our sexual experiences are intimate and private,” Walfish argues.
When one spouse wants to explore BDSM or toys but the other partner isn’t interested, she suggests softly telling your mate what you want to attempt. Make it apparent that you are entirely satisfied with them as a partner, and offer to reciprocate by doing something your partner would appreciate.
Oral sex is a term used to describe the act of having sexual relations with
This dream could indicate that you were raised to believe that oral sex is nasty and unwelcome, but that you secretly desire it.
What you can do about it:
“Many people are uncomfortable giving oral sex, yet some of these people enjoy receiving it,” explains Walfish. As a result, it is ideal to foster an open discussion between you and your spouse to determine what is causing the aversion and what can be done to make it more comfortable.
Your sex dreams don’t have to be anchored in profound emotions or past traumas to be a tool for helping you connect with your desires and feelings. Even if your dreams are lighthearted, consider interpreting them to help you become more aware of your feelings and inner wishes.
To help in this process, you might want to start a dream notebook to better monitor them. After waking up, write them down in detail, and after a few pages, make a quick appraisal. Look for recurring patterns and what things are in common. It may assist you in gaining a better understanding of your feelings and thoughts.
To summarize, remember that sex dreams are a natural aspect of life. In general, these dreams are the result of your subconscious processing the events of the previous few days.
If the dreams are upsetting you and seem to be happening frequently, you should consult with a mental health specialist to assist you figure out what’s going on.
Otherwise, take a deep breath and think about embracing your sexual fantasies and using them to discover more about yourself.